


Sweet Poison

by fhsa_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: First Time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-06-27
Updated: 2004-06-27
Packaged: 2019-02-05 16:11:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12797943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhsa_archivist/pseuds/fhsa_archivist
Summary: Miscommunication





	Sweet Poison

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

_And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was_

_more painful than the risk it took to blossom._

_\--- Anais Nin_

 

 

It had been months since I'd seen him. And I knew this encounter wouldn't go well. We played our parts and I was left unconscious on the floor of the stair well. While I was out, I dreamed of him. My mind goes back when I least expect it.

 

He became my lover shortly after walking into my office for the first time. One look at him and it was as though fate had given me back the boy I'd loved in Nam. My first love. 

 

When Mulder told me he was gone, I didn't want to believe. Couldn't believe that the sweet boy who slept so innocently in my arms was a double agent. I had no choice but to believe when I went home and found all the little things he'd gradually moved in gone. 

 

I might have lost it right then if not for the two things he did leave behind. Of course, I couldn't tell Mulder and Scully about those things. They would have thought I was insane, that is, if they got past the fact that I was gay. 

 

Life went on the way it tends to do while the planning is happening and the days slip away. I knew he was playing a dangerous game but then so was I. It was a game we had to play. He may have been a lot younger than me but he was still a soldier. Once more we were fighting an unpopular war, probably a losing one.

 

When he came back from Russia, I did something even more dangerous. I went to see him.

 

"What are you doing here?"

 

"Spender told me about your arm. I needed to check on you."

 

"Idiot! You should stay away from me. I'm poison, Walter. If he found out..."

 

"Then we'd better not let him."

 

I was through with words. I pulled him to me and after a brief struggle, he groaned and wrapped his remaining arm around me. I buried my face in his cropped hair and breathed deeply. 

 

"This is such a bad idea, Walter."

 

"I know."

 

And I held on. After a long time, he pulled back to look into my eyes. He must have found what he wanted because he pressed his lips to mine with an urgency that thrilled me. I don't remember getting undressed but we must have because he was under me on the bed, our cocks slotted together as we dry humped. 

 

We came, spraying come all over each other. When we'd calmed, I pulled up off of him and saw for the first time how badly he had been damaged. As soon as he realized I was looking at his stump, he pulled away. Jumping from the bed, he went into the bathroom and closed the door. 

 

I gave us both a few minutes to get it together then went to tap on the door.

 

"Alex, may I come in to clean up?"

 

His voice was muffled, but it sounded like yes, so I pushed the door open and walked into the room. He was standing with a towel around his shoulder and a washcloth in his hand. 

 

I couldn't decide if it would be better to say something right away or give him a little more time. I opted to jump in with both feet.

 

"When will you be able to get fitted with a pirate hook?"

 

"Asshole!"

 

He launched himself at me and we went down in a heap. I allowed him to hit at me until he ran out of steam. Then I held him as he cried. Stroking and murmuring my love to him. After a while the tears stopped and then he spoke again.

 

"How do you do this to me?"

 

"Do what?"

 

"Make me show my emotions. I haven't cried since I was twelve."

 

"You know they are safe with me, that you are safe with me. Isn't that why you left me the message?"

 

"Message?"

 

"Don't play coy now, it doesn't work."

 

"I couldn't stand to leave you believing you never meant anything to me."

 

"I'm glad, Alex."

 

"Can we get up? I need a shower and some dinner."

 

"Sounds like a good plan. Want me to scrub your back?"

 

"Actually I was hoping for more than that."

 

I took him in the shower, one arm crossed over his chest with my hand cupping his shoulder. His remaining hand clutched tightly over my hipbone as I plunged into him over and over. With my other hand, I pumped his dick hard and fast. 

 

He cried out softly as his come sprayed the wall, and I grunted as I shot inside him. His head turned and I took his mouth roughly, making us breathless that much longer. 

 

When the water turned cool, we stepped out to dry and dress silently.

 

"Where do you want to get dinner?"

 

"We can't chance being seen together in public, Walter. Have you developed a death wish?"

 

"No, just a desire to have something approaching normal. Someday, Alex. I give you my word."

 

His desire to believe me was evident in his eyes. I pulled him close to me and kissed him once more.

 

After that we stole hours, sometimes whole days, to be together. Our fight continued, as did the parts we played. I knew when they replaced him and I quietly began searching for him. I'd found out where he was shortly after I killed the clone. 

 

When Mulder and Scully went underground, I stayed just long enough to commit what havoc I could then I went to get him. It took some effort and a few deaths to get him out, but I was willing to have that on my soul.

 

We traveled hard and fast. The only conversation being what was absolutely necessary. He wasn't in the best of shape but we couldn't afford to get caught. 

 

After two weeks of zigzagging across the country, I headed into Canada. It took another week to reach the cabin that had belonged to a relative long gone on to his reward. Since the cabin had never passed into my name, I wasn't too worried about being found there. In any case, we'd only be there for the winter. And once the snow started, they'd need a miracle to get to us. 

 

We slept the clock around and I woke to the feel of him nuzzling my cock.

 

"Alex, it's been a long time, I hope you aren't expecting me to last long."

 

There was a loud slurp from under the covers and I felt my cock slip from his mouth. 

 

"Don't care how quick you are. I just want to taste you again."

 

Then the slurping sounds started again. My hands found him, my fingers sliding through his decidedly matted hair. We both desperately needed to bathe but, right then, we needed this more. 

 

I came with a loud moan and panted as he wiggled up to snuggle against me. Pulling him close, I kissed him, bad breath and all and, as soon as my heart slowed, I took my turn under the covers. I hated to put on the dirty clothes we'd arrived in but there was no way I wanted to dirty up clean ones. 

 

I went to get the generator going and left him starting a fire in the wood-burning stove. We didn't have the resources to run the generator full time so it would be turned on for heating water to bathe and do laundry. The rest of the time we'd get by with candles or the lanterns. The stove would provide our heat. 

 

I came back to find him looking puzzled at the coffeepot he'd found.

 

"City boy."

 

"Fuck you."

 

Taking the pot from him, I filled it, then put together the innards and filled the basket with coffee. Plunking it on the stove, I grabbed the heavy cast iron skillet. Might as well have breakfast while we waited for the water to heat. 

 

He followed me to the jeep and we brought in the ice chest I'd filled in the last town we'd driven through. I knew we'd be living on canned and dried goods for months but we'd at least have fresh meat for our first few days there. The ice in the other chest would keep the stuff I didn't cook right away cold enough. Alex watched as I cooked our first meal on the wood stove. 

 

The first week, we made love as often as we could get it up, slept, and ate. The second week, we began to read books from my late uncle's collection, between our bouts of more rigorous sex. Since Alex was feeling better, we went for walks when the weather allowed. 

 

The road in was impassable but we had snowshoes so we could get out in the fresh air and exercise. So we whiled away the end of the war, far away from the front lines, without even knowing we had won. 

 

Mulder and Scully showed up when the road was passable with William and the paperwork giving Alex and me official retirement. I never asked how he managed it; I didn't need to know. I had my home and my lover and the world was safe again.

 

Mulder pulled me out onto the porch as Scully and Alex danced around each other in the kitchen making dinner. William was playing in sight of the house. 

 

"You never stopped loving him, did you?"

 

"No. How long have you known?"

 

"Since he came in to work one morning with a hickey on his throat, wearing one of your ties and your cologne smell on him."

 

"And you never said a word."

 

"At first, it was because he made you happy - later, it was because it hurt you too much. How did you know he hadn't turned completely?"

 

"He'd moved quite a few things into my place. When he left, he took everything except for two things. His comb which I had no real use for and the small mirror he used to shave with when I was blocking the larger one."

 

"I don't get it."

 

"Not a John Wayne fan are you?"

 

Mulder shook his head still bewildered. 

 

"I introduced him to old movies. Mainly the Duke and Bogie. John Wayne did a movie called the Barbarian and the Geisha. We watched it curled on the couch the Sunday before he left."

 

I left out that I'd had my cock up his ass as we watched. Alex would watch anything I wanted if he was being diddled while it was on. 

 

"So, I'm taking it that something in that movie relates to the comb and mirror?"

 

"At the end of the movie, the geisha leaves him even though she is very much in love with him and knows he loves her. She leaves behind her mirror and her comb. His advisor tells him that he will never be able to find her."

 

"When did you learn to tease?"

 

I chuckled and ignored his question. "The advisor then tells him the significance of the items she left. The comb is the sign of parting. The mirror meant she was leaving her soul with him. When I saw those things, I knew he hadn't wanted to leave me, that he had to leave me."

 

"And when you saw him again, you made sure he knew that you understood."

 

"Yes."

 

The door opened before I could say more. "Hey you two, dinner is almost ready. Scully said to get William in so he can get washed up."

 

I turned to smile at him standing there with a smudge of flour on his cheek. Mulder called out to William. Alex disappeared back into the house and I waited with Mulder for William.

 

I was the last one in; I looked at the only family I had in the world, pleased that I had lived to see the war end. That we all had. Sometimes it's good to be alive. 

 

End


End file.
